

White: You better start talkin', asshole! Cause we got shit we need to talk about. And this non-college bullshit you're givin' me, I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin' surprise. I mean, if you show me a piece of paper that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. It would appear to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Pink: I mean, I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. White: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. Pink: So is working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do ya? Well why not? They're serving you food. White: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. Pink: You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses. Blue: You don't care if they're counting on your tips to live? Mr. You know, I used to work minimum wage, and when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy. I mean, these ladies aren't starving to death. Pink, but the last fucking thing you need's another cup of coffee. Pink: The words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary. Blonde: Six times? Well, what if she's too fucking busy? Mr. I mean, when I order coffee, I want it filled six times. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee, alright? And we been here a long fucking time, and she's only filled my cup three times. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick? Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job. But I mean, this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. If they really put forth the effort, I'll give them something extra. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. Let me just get this straight: you don't ever tip, huh? Mr. Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. She don't make enough money, she can quit. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit. Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping? Mr. Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck! Mr. White: Shit, you shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize. Blonde: Joe, you want me to shoot this guy for you? Mr. You see the pain is reminding the fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. It hurts, just like it did the first time. It shouldn't hurt her, you know her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever.

Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape he's digging tunnels. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon: dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. Brown: O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. a sensitive girl who meets a nice guy, but 'Like a Virgin' was a metaphor for big dicks. Pink: You said 'True Blue' was about a guy. Brown: What the fuck was I talking about? Mr. White: What's that? Joe Cabot: It's an old address book I found in a coat I haven't worn in a coon's age. I was saying something, what was it? Joe Cabot: Oh, Toby's that little Chinese girl. Brown: You guys are, like, making me lose my. Borderline - but once she got off with that Papa Don't Preach phase, I tuned out. Blonde: Personally, I can do without her. All I asked was how does it go? Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan. Orange: Look, asshole, I didn't say I ain't heard of it. I don't even follow this Tops of the Pops shit, and even I've heard of True Blue. Orange: Which one is True Blue? Nice Guy Eddie: You ain't heard True Blue? It was a big ass hit for Madonna. Brown: Like a Virgin is not about some sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. Tell that fuckin' bullshit to the tourists. Then she meets some guy who's really sensitive. It's about a girl who is very vulnerable. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. Brown: Let me tell you what Like a Virgin is about.
